Pick the right person, and the right time. Are you above the age of consent? Make sure you take precautions against STIs and pregnancy. Do some research, talk to experienced friends, and most of all, relax! You only get one first time, so make the setting -- and your partner -- one worth remembering! Read on for more details!

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This is one of the most important things that you will need to consider before you have sex for the first time. Who you lose your virginity to will have a big effect not only on your first sexual experience, it will also have an effect on your life -- because remember, there is only ONE FIRST TIME, and you will likely (hopefully!) remember it forever. You will most likely want to have sex for the first time with a caring partner, and in fact that is how most people lose their virginity. The other option is a one night stand, or as a rite of passage event (though this more likely for men.) Choose a person who will be patient with you, who respects you, and who will take time to help you feel comfortable.

It is not necessary that your partner is more experienced than you are, though if they have some experience of sex that can sometimes be a help. It is up to you, though, and if you come from a culture that has certain rules, you may want to take those into consideration, too -- for instance, some cultures call for no sex before marriage, though that is now becoming rather outdated, and it is certainly not practiced universally. However you lose your virginity, be sure that it is with a respectful and patient partner -- that is the bottom line.

You will most likely want to be somewhere that is calming and safe, and that place is almost always your own bedroom, though if your partner has their own place and you feel comfortable there, then that is another great option. A lot of people lose their virginity at parties, and while this is not the best setting, it is certainly very common. Wherever you decide to lose your virginity, be sure that it is a safe place, and not too far from home in case you feel afterwards that you would like to go back and have some time to yourself.

The most important thing to consider when questions of timing arise, revolve around a) when your period, or your partner's period, occurs, and also what day of the week it is. If you are studying, it might be nice to wait until the weekend, or just before it, so that you will have a couple days to chill out before classes start back up. If you are working, the same applies -- try and time first time sex so that you have a day off straight away afterwards, just in case you feel like a bit of R and R. The other side to this to consider is that you might like to feel rested BEFORE you have sex for the first time. If this is the case, then you might like to wait until the weekend is almost over -- provided you have not partied so hard that you are actually more tired then you were before the weekend started!

The two most important things you need to guard against when you have sex for the first time are catching STIs, and getting pregnant. If you are having first time gay sex then you don't need to worry too much about the second one, but we'll come to that in a minute. First up, let's talk about sexually transmitted diseases. These can be blood and body fluid-borne, such as HIV, or from contact, such as herpes and genital warts. Sexy, eh? Not really. But you'll feel a lot sexier without any of the above. First and foremost, you need to use protection if you are a guy, or a girl sleeping with a guy, and that means that condoms have to be involved. You ever hear the phrase "No glove, no love"? Well, it means just that. If you are having sex and a penis is involved, make sure a condom goes on that little guy. Further into your relationship, if it's serious, if neither of you has an STI, and if you using other forms of contraceptive, (such as the pill, or the coil,) then you can consider going bareback, but since we are talking about first time sex here you really should be using all the forms of protection you can get your hands on, and that means condoms are a must. In terms of pregnancy, if you are having sex for the first time, then you almost certainly do not want to be getting up the duff, so you should be using two forms of contraceptive" the pill and the condom, in tandem. If you are having gay sex then this is not an issue, but you should be using condoms if you are both guys, and practicing excellent hygiene if you are both girls. One more thing -- it should go without saying that if either of you has an STI, you should tell your partner; if your partner has not brought up STIs, then you should ask him or her if she has one, or if she ever has had one, and be open about whether you have as well.

Talk to your friends who have already had sex, and do some researching online. Learning a few techniques might help you feel more confident about your prowess in the bedroom, and while you may have chosen a partner who is more experienced that you -- although you might not have -- they do say that forewarned is forearmed. Bringing some know-how to the table with definitely help you feel less nervous, and more able to keep calm and enjoy yourself! Advice can come from so many different places -- you can ask a relative (although that is often awkward and some people like to skip this suggestion) or you can ask a more experienced friend. The internet can also be a source of inspiration and information, but be aware that the internet is a massive spectrum of opinions that may not always reflect your cultural or behavioral background. At the end of the day, nobody else knows you like you do, so it can sometimes be a good rule of thumb to go with your gut, as they say, and trust your own feelings and intuition about certain matters, such as who to sleep with, when to make the first move and how, and whether you are even ready or not to engage in sex for the first time.

The first thing to remember is that no two people have exactly the same technique when it comes to sex. Sure, a lot of what makes sex sex is going to be pretty much the same across the board, but when it comes to individual style, nobody does YOU like you do. Why does that matter? It matters because it means that there is no wrong way to have sex (okay, you can stop using your imagination now; of course there are wrong ways to have sex.) Let's put that another way -- only you know how to have sex the way you have sex. It's like dancing -- most dance moves look the same, but everyone puts their own special spin on them. It is exactly the same with sex -- don't get hung up on exactly how to have sex, because the really important aspects of it are not only fairly obvious, but also pretty hard to get wrong. So the main thing to remember when looking to gain some more confidence before first time sex is to just chill out and be yourself. Yes, that might sound like a cop out, but it's true. Try a breathing exercise if you need to relax, and you have your second really effective tool when it comes to confidence. A really simple breathing exercise that seems to get overlooked in today's climate of yoga and other semi esoteric traditions is the old "ten deep breaths" trick. How does it work? Take ten deep breaths, all the way in, and all the way out. You can be assured that you will feel a lot more relaxed afterwards. How does being relaxed make you feel more confident? The more relaxed you are, the more in command you are of your mind and your body. That's how.

Learning to relax is not just one of the best things you can do before sex, it is one of the best things that you can do PERIOD. Why is it important to relax before you have sex for the first time? Well, for one thing, if you are relaxed you tend to make better decisions. It is not too late to stop, or to reconsider, so being relaxed will help you if you need to change your mind about what you are doing at the very last minute. Are there any other reasons why you ought to relax before first time sex? There are two. First of all, if you are relaxed, you are less likely to be tense, so if there is likely to be any pain, it will be greatly reduced or even eradicated altogether by getting nice and relaxed before you get down to having sex. The other reason why you should relax before you have first time sex, is that it will help you enjoy sex more: when your body is relaxed, it is much more receptive to sensual feelings. If you have trouble relaxing, remember the age old trick of taking ten deep breaths. Believe it or not, this really works. Breath all the way in, pause, and then breathe all the way out. Do this ten times and you are sure to feel more relaxed.

If you are a guy, then be a gentleman -- don't go bragging to your pals, no matter how tempting this might be! Take your sexual partner's feelings into consideration, and be a real man -- this might mean that you have to keep it on the down low! Take some time, both of you -- or ALL of you, if this was a group experience -- to really revel in the feeling of the first time. Let it sink in -- you are no longer a virgin. It might feel as though your world has changed at least a little -- the colors brighter, the sounds clearer, smells sharper -- and it is always a good idea to reflect on that feeling of suddenly living in a subtly different world.

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