The Top Houston Sex Club Reviews

Onyx Houston Strip Club Review

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INTRODUCTION:

When I want to blow off a little steam after a long hard day, I don't mind saying that the first thing that comes to my mind is some sexy ladies. When you've got a big enough city like Houston to work with, then your choices just unfold in front of you like a pair of legs. If you're not careful, though, you can get played like a piano with a stripper pole sticking out of it. Which is why you should definitely check out Onyx Houston, where the woman are beautiful and banging, the shots comes fast and furious, and there really is a piano that one of the ladies can do tricks on top of.

For years, strip clubs the world over have had to fight the reputation that they are just sleazy, dimly-lit second-rate nightclubs, and the main weapon you have to change this is…decent investment in sensible and welcoming design. Sure that doesn't sound sexy at all, but it definitely makes the rooms you're going to watch women get sexy for you a hell of a lot more relaxing. You can definitely tell the Onyx Houston really wanted to raise the bar in Houston, and they put their money where their mouths and thongs are.

Keep reading below to learn everything you need to know about Onyx Houston, here on EasySex.com!

ABOUT:

There's never been a problem finding a strip club in Houston, but if your tastes are even a notch about average, then it's definitely worth it for you to check out Onyx Houston. It's in a great location just west of downtown, really close to the Galleria, so getting there is a breeze (once rush hour dies down). The whole experience starts off with never judging a book by it's cover, because outside it looks kind of drab, meanwhile as soon as you pay the door fee, it becomes a luxurious adult playground, with ladies having a wild time onstage, cheap shots of premium liquor, and a really great billiards room with plenty of mirrors, so you can rack 'em up and still not miss a single dance.

The decor is all class, and both bars are well-stocked with great bartenders, and the wings are actually some of the best appetizers in the city (when a strip club is bragging about its food, you know it has to be pretty good). Even though you can't smoke inside, you can smoke the next best thing and rent a hookah pipe. And I really like how the champagne room is just off to the side, always beckoning. You just have to keep track of your finances, though, because it doesn't take much to spend a lot of money on a lot of fun stuff.

FEATURES:

-Houston's only upscale urban gentleman's club

-conveniently located just west of downtown, near the Galleria

-13,000 square feet and two full-service bars

-open until 4AM during the week, and 5AM on weekends

-wide selection of DJs throughout the week, spinning the hottest top 40, hip-hop and r&b hits

-full food menu, including their famous onyx wings

-free and valet parking available

-happy hour is 7pm to 10pm on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, and that means $5 cover, $5 shots, and certain $5 food specials

-$2 Tuesdays means shots of premium liquors like grey goose and hennessy are only two dollars

-VIP rooms available, which makes them perfect to host birthday parties, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and social events

-hookahs available for rent to add an exotic flavor to your experience

-extremely easy to reserve a table for your party online

-easy to joining their email list to get the latest updates on discounts and features

-if you're really interested in the place, you can apply online for a job, either as an entertainer or regular employee

Onyx Houston

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CONCLUSION:

When it comes to the urban adult entertainment experience, you can't wrong with Onyx Houston, which gives everything you could expect from a strip club experience and then takes it up a notch. The staff is courteous and professional every step of the way, and you can tell that even the ladies onstage are having a great time bumpin' to the beats. And when people who work there are even having a party, you know that infectious feelings is going to hit you in no time.

Sometimes when I'm chowing down on wings in between lining up my next billiard shot that I almost forget I'm in a strip club, there's so much class going on. Even though Onyx Houston should always be first on your list, it's also the perfect way to fix a night that looked like it was going to be a bust, because it's open until 5AM on weekends. So even if it's last call somewhere else, you can still get taxi over to finish your night off with a happy ending.

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Pros

  • There's nothing wrong with wanting a good experience with your adult entertainment, and Onyx Houston can definitely treat you right in that respect. Now, you expect the ladies to be smoking and stylin', that's just a given. And they are, definitely some of Houston's finest and friendliest, no doubt. If you treat them well, then you can be sure it'll be returned to you twofold.

    But it's what the owners of the club are able to do with everything else around the main entertainment that can set a place on a higher level, and you can tell that Onyx Houston is really reaching for the stars. I think it's great that it looks pretty ordinary and maybe even a bit old-fashioned on the outside, while the whole experience changes once you walk through the doors. It immediately becomes like the kind of lounge you would expect in a mansion, with wood trim throughout, a soft blue light, a lot of well positioned mirrors so you'll never miss a moment, and an overall classy elegance that makes you almost proud to be here.

    Even the little things, like the lighted signs for the champagne room, an awesome billiards room and a piano with a stripper pole running right through the middle of it, really make you appreciate the effort by the owners to elevate your experience than just a night at the 'rippers. To top it all off, the wings were great, which you can't always say about the food at an adult club.

Cons

  • I'd say that any complaints you might have about Onyx Huston are pretty much the same sort of issues you might have with any other high quality gentleman's club. Namely, you get what you pay for, and if it's upscale entertainment you want, then you're going to have to pay a bit more for it than you might be used to. Sure the deals on the shots are good, but you can't be drinking those all night, and beer and mixed drinks are pretty expensive here. On top of that, in addition to cover at the door, there's sometimes another fee once you're inside just to get a seat, and maybe an ever higher one to get a table (it can depend on the time you're visiting, as well as how busy it is).

    And while the food is a cut above the usual strip club fare you'd find at other places, it can take a rather long time for it to arrive (which, let's be honest, is a bit intentional so you'll be spending more money the longer you're here), and can be pretty pricey if it's not the few things on the specials menu.

    Once when I went with a bunch of people, one of my friends said he found the place too small, but I didn't really understand what he meant. I thought it was great that it had all these separate spaces. Maybe some people want their gentleman's clubs to be one big room.

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